


Twilight Highlights

by TeamThor



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Colin Robinson POV, Colin Robinson is a Good Bro, First Dates, I mean Nandor/Guillermo are a thing in this but, M/M, Twilight References, kind of, the Twilight thing is canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:41:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25380034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamThor/pseuds/TeamThor
Summary: Introducing Twilight to the house full of vampires was supposed to be another sure-fire way of getting an energy boost. And in his defence, how was Colin supposed to guess that Nandor of all people would actually enjoy it?
Relationships: Colin Robinson & Nandor the Relentless, Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Comments: 16
Kudos: 95





	Twilight Highlights

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first WWDITS fic! I might write more depending if I think up any more ideas, but I'm obsessed with the TV show and the film

"Oh yeah, I introduced Nandor to Twilight," 

Colin Robinson shrugged at the cameramen, beige sweater almost blending in completely to the cream coloured chair he was currently swathed in. 

"I figured it'd be a good way to bring more tension into the household. People were getting a little chummy lately - and that's kind of a disruption to my feeding." 

Introducing things to people was a pretty good way of draining energy, but this was a game his flatmates had long since gotten wise to. Usually when he was recommending something, it was just a long winded way of getting a good energy harvest - annoyance with a long buildup was something of a feast for him (the creation of the podcast had truly been a turning point in energy harvesting techniques, a real big hit in the Energy Vampire community). 

Twilight was supposed to be another one of these schemes, but it turned out Colin had severely underestimated the former warlord's love for YA melodrama. When he'd tried it on Laszlo, he'd fed for a week on the angered ravings of vampiric inaccuracies and overall poor word choice. And of course, anything Laszlo heard about was shared with Nadja - so it was really a 2 for 1 meal, courtesy of Stephanie Meyer. 

He'd been expecting the same with Nandor - although his flavour of anger was a bit more punchy than Laszlo and Nadja's. They were more of a slow-cooked kinda deal - hisses and grinding teeth and darkly muttered curses. Nandor was more the type to skewer a book he disliked with a sword and then never speak of it again. Kind of like taking a shot of something strong.

He'd waited a week for that punch of energy. What he got instead was a tentative knock on his door, and Nandor asking if there was another book, and that's how he knew he was in trouble. 

Because, he'd had to pour over those books for hours to get the right information to spam the message boards with. To get details wrong, you needed to get them right. And there was nothing like spreading blatant misinformation about a YA series on an internet forum to get his engine going, so to speak. 

Which meant that he knew about Twilight. 

Which meant that, since he was a fan of it now, Nandor talked to him about Twilight. 

Now he was hanging out with Nandor of all people, listening to him ramble about the tragic romance of Bella and Edward, and feeling the full force of the lovechild of irony and karma hitting him in the face because holy shit, this is what it feels like.

It wasn't as bad as being drained by Evie, but still. Owch. 

Although he couldn't deny that the hit of energy he got from Laszlo accusing him of turning Nandor into a glitter loving monster was one of the most interesting flavours he'd had in a long time. 

"You bloody idiot, you know what he gets like!"

Laszlo had sighed, dusting off a small pile of glitter from his sleeve from where he'd accidentally disturbed Nandor in the middle of a portrait creation. 

"This is going to be the ball of basket obsession from the 1990's all over again."

Nadja hissed through bared fangs, bony fingers clenched tightly between her skirts. 

Maybe there was another reason that Colin had introduced Nandor to the books - and, when he'd caught up with the technology, the movies. But it wasn't something he was about to disclose in front of a camera for the whole world to see. 

He had a reputation to protect. Cool, suave, level headed Colin Robinson. Ruthless, fangless - an apex predator in a beige sweater vest. He couldn't risk that getting damaged - his flatmates would lose respect for him. 

Although to their credit ever since his promotion and subsequent funeral, his flatmates had been trying with him. Whether that was out of genuine friendship or fear for their immortal lives - well that was anybody's guess. And, so what if he wanted to do something nice in return? Doing something nice just added more build-up to the eventual anger he'd get when he next decided to feed on them - draining his flatmates was no fun if they were expecting it. 

And if he'd introduced Nandor to a book series where the vampire and the human could be together...well, it was a coincidence. It was just to get Nandor mad when the movies turned out to be terrible. 

It wasn't to give him something to relate to. A piece of fiction where he wouldn't be portrayed as the monster feeding off of an innocent human, where vampire hunters weren't the likes of Van Helsing with stakes and pitchforks.

It wasn't to give Nandor an excuse to ask Guillermo to take him to the movies at night - one of the few activities the two could actually do together and still feel normal.

No, it was to annoy him. At some point, Nandor would get annoyed by something to do with Twilight, and then it was a win-win for Colin Robinson. Slow cooked anger achieved - yay for him.

Yeah, that was it. 

Nandor and Guillermo would be insufferable as a couple anyway, he was sure of it. There'd be even more opportunities for him to sweep in and make things awkward: candlelit dinners to disrupt, gifts that he could read the ingredients lists of and watch as the light left his flatmate’s eyes. 

Hell, a double date with Laszlo, Nadja, Nandor, and Guillermo would give him enough anger and frustration to feed him for a month. 

So it really was all for selfish reasons, this new hobby of Nandor’s. Reputation protected. 

Still evil, still cool, still Colin.


End file.
